The Big 30's, Chinese New Year, Retards of Z Rock, no alcohol for FCA, MP3's from U2 and The Doves...oh yes, and we've paid the lecky.
Welcome to the most sober report ever written for Cheonan Station. Due to outrageous behaviour commited over the weekend, FCA was found guilty by a unanimous verdict at the H&D Songjongdong Anti-Social Behaviour Courts. Hence, the delay to the weekly report (nothing to do with an unpaid utility bill, although this had an adverse effect on weekly business). The resulting sentence was a complete ban on alcohol for 7 days, which thankfully concludes on Friday evening. More of that later. Right, what's been going on in Cheonan in the last couple of weeks? Fecking loads. Lets funk n groove... The Chinese New Year holiday got off to a relaxing start in Red Eye bar with an announcement from Webmaster informing all that whilst he and the good lady were in Seoul, they er...got married. Well, I suppose that's more original than hanging out in The Reggae Bar for the afternoon. Many hearty congratulations to the lovely pair. The night also witnessed the rare and welcome appearance of the New Brunswick Beardy One and his mate. However, they were unable to confirm the whereabouts of a decent crack-cocaine dealer in Cheonan, so their presence was surplus to requirements in the end. The night concluded with FCA and better half falling on their arses outside a nearby LG25. Tuesday night saw another welcome return to Club Gudanji and a pulsating set from DJ Croweface, which was totally unappreciated by everybody (especially the Canadian Female Catastrophe, she was too busy trying to organise her hair, eyebrows, eyelids, nose, mouth, teeth and possibly her rear end, better not say anymore in case of possible legal action from Cheonan Craic). FCA was pissed and played a pile of cack. His dancing antics behind laptop were not much better. Better things next time hopefully. Webgal 2 made history by not insulting anybody, although she did mention about somebody being a f66666g b999h later in the evening. Yes, I agree. Camilla Parker-Bowles should know better. The whole of Cheonan descended upon that cauldron of social disasters that is Z Rock on Saturday night to celebrate the birthdays of UK6 and The Derry Delight. Full ammends for their debut appearance were made by the band with a cracking rendition of Boys Dont Cry by The Cure, much to the delight of Somerset Boy. Bangtastic. Whatever next? FCA cant wait for the cover versions of "F**k the mods" by The Exploited and Anarchy in the UK by the Pistols. The night concluded in highly bizarre circumstances with a strange man approaching FCA and asking whether he would take part in a fight, yes a fight, to decide who would walk away with FCA's girlfriend. What is this? Has Z Rock turned into a Wild West saloon bar? Who was that strange retard anyway? A bit of advice for that person. Charm, kindness and a sense of humour wins a woman, not your fists or otherwise. Go back to the cave and start again you fool. Unfortunately thats precisely what FCA did and he proceeded to launch into a volley of expletives and mindless drunken threats outside the Beer Cabin. The resulting sentence of an alcohol ban was totally deserved. Friday cant come quick enough... Noticeboard: Another interview on the way. FCA is attempting to line up an interview with the enigmatic Zoltan PJ, apologies for any spelling incorrections.
Coming soon...the return to Cheonan of the former guitarist of 88mph, The Montreal Maestro. Fresh from his jaunts across Thailand and the Indian Ocean (including a brief stop in Eastern India to assist with the Tsunami aid efforts), he will no doubt stop for a drink or two and collect his coffee making machine.
MP3's: The Doves- Black and White Town U2- Sometimes you cant make it on your own The Kills- The Good Ones Peace Division- What is the sound? Source feat Candi Staton- You got the love (2005 remix) fullcheeseahead@gmail.com
